It’s funny how one person can walk into your life and change so much. I haven’t posted in a while and for that I’m sorry. I can’t say that this post will be inspiring or life changing, but it will allow me to put these thoughts down somewhere. I have been in a constant state of healing for these past couple of months. I’ve been trying to find out what works, what hurts the least and what I need for myself. I’ve been working on not taking crap from anyone and being the same girl I was when there was someone there to constantly tell me I’m worth it. I’ve been working on being the one to tell myself I’m worth it and finding my worth through Jesus Christ and my school and my work and my passions and my goals instead of through the eyes of someone else.
Life feels like a constant peeling away of an onion and then putting it back together. Life (or God, as I believe) has been peeling all the layers away from me, leaving me hurting and broken to then put the pieces back together but adding one each time – leaving me stronger and more of the woman I was created to be. Let me tell you something that feels so great to say: I am proud to be that girl. I am more proud to be here than I think I ever have been in my life. The pride isn’t the overwhelming pride like that which directly precedes the fall, but instead pride in who I am: my faults and the things I’m pretty awesome at.
Loving this girl has led me to some insane conclusions about myself though. This girl wants to get married. She wants to get married so bad because what seems better than being able to come home to your best friend every single day? She knows now that the way to find that though, isn’t to go out looking for it and put the pressure on each and every male who may stumble across her path. It’s to be completely and totally lost in The Lord, lost in school and work and really discovering who I am. Want to know why?
When you’re so completely lost in the things you love and you’re passionate about, you’re the most like yourself you will ever be. That way you know the person watching you is falling in love with you and not the coy you you’re trying to be during courtship.
So, for now I’m hanging out with my sisters, working on graduating college, crafting for my littles and getting to experience everything that was written for me before I was even an inkling in my parents’ minds. (Hopefully I’ll be blogging a bit more too).
I’m excited to take y’all along this journey with me too. If you want in on this new step, subscribe. If you’re not as interested in it as you were in my internship then unsubscribe. Either way, I’m pretty pumped.