I’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel for a while, but tonight it ended. Tonight I burst out like someone finishing a marathon and was done. Sure, tomorrow will bring its own struggles and issues but as my mom would say, “don’t borrow trouble, Kaitlin.”
It’s been hard. It’s been hard for a while. It hasn’t been actively hard every day, but I have definitely been on the bottom side of those revolutions for a while. It’s not a bad thing. They say to praise God through the storm. Every issue, every problem in my life, every struggle is an opportunity to grow and get better and to further become the woman he made me to be.
You know as well as I do that those revolutions are hard. It’s hard to not get frustrated and be a child, and I definitely have those moments where I do act like a child or a jerk and then I have to go back and try again. Want to know something cool? If you’re sitting here today you’re getting through it. You’re making it and you’re doing outstanding. Want to know why? He’s never going to bring you through something you can’t overcome. Not only that, but you’re never going to be alone. You may only be a two on the elliptical, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to fill in the other 23 even though the person next to you can do level 10 (the elliptical of life that is).
Doors shut because other doors open. People walk away to leave room for new ones. We go through changes and struggles to grow and to get better and become the person we were meant to be.
Want to know something awesome? You were preordained. Before you were even born he loved you more than you can even imagine. It’s a love like no other – it’s whole hearted and selfless and selfish and the most amazing thing you could even begin to imagine. If that’s not awesome I honestly have no idea what to say. That is the most amazing thing I can think of.
So, today I got to the top of one of my life revolutions. Today I ended a period of intense growth internally and guess what? I’m ready to start one more. I’m ready to keep going. I’m ready to keep fighting and grinding because I cannot wait to see what my Lord and Savior has in store for me. He experienced one of the most painful deaths – one that the Romans later stopped practicing because it was so very painful. Each and every death caused the person on the cross to pull themselves up with their hands nailed to the cross until they took their final breath. If he can do that for me, why do I have so much trouble sometimes simply living for him? Life – one of the most amazing (if not the most amazing) gift I’ve ever been given.
I’m ready. I’m so ready to begin this new adventure and I’m so ready to continue learning.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.