Here’s to Handshakes

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Sorry for the wierdo stock photo. The pickings were slim in terms of handshakes. Thanks corporate America.

“A firm hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you’ll never be forgiven if you don’t live up to it,” -P.J. O’Rourke-

All my life I have been told a good handshake matters (probably because most of my direct family members are men, but oh well). So, I have been shaking people’s hands and gathering information about how to craft my “perfect” handshake for quite a while now. I knew I was going to get to the stage of life I am currently in and need to shake a lot of hands and make a lot of good first impression.

My perfect handshake goes like this:
Step One: Make sure the piece of skin between my thumb and forefinger gets to the piece of skin between their thumb and forefinger. The handshake feels locked in that way and I know I’m not doing one of those girly just touch the fingertips things.
Step Two: Grasp my fingers around their hand firmly, but not too tight.
Step Three: Shake ONCE. Once I tell you. Not three times, not a million times, but once. Then it’s firm and we can be done touching.

For some reason, there is a school of thought that thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to shake three or even more times. Why? Why does this seem like a good idea? Then, what started out as a great handshake turns into the end of a “D-fence” cheer at a sporting event where members of the audience don’t know if they’re supposed to continue so the cheer dwindles down to where there is one unfortunate person who yells “D” with conviction only to realize no one else is cheering with him. It’s not fun.

Can we just agree as a society that one pump is good? Yes, this is one of the many things that keeps me up at night.

What’s your perfect handshake?

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