Good afternoon! Sorry I took last weekend off. I was late and then when I was going to post Tuesday I just had too much angst about the election to even think about putting pen to paper. Soooo, happy week!
This is going to take more of the shape of a ramble or a one-sided conversation than my usual coffee shares, but I just have a lot of thoughts and want to be able to express them without getting too stuck in a format. Sometimes our formats don’t work for what we want to express and that’s okay. So, hunker down!
I am so insanely happy. I love my job, I love my apartment and I love my life. I also love the possibilities I’m finding here in the Pacific Northwest. There’s a reason people move out here and never leave. I may migrate to Seattle at some point, but for now I’m pretty darn happy. Yesterday was sunny and chilly and today is cloudy and chilly, however I started both mornings the same. I woke up (after getting an embarrassing amount of sleep), opened my windows and lit some candles. Yesterday and today just felt like rain. I love being bundled up inside. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about throwing on fuzzy socks and a hoodie and sitting in bed (I don’t have anywhere to sit just yet). I didn’t turn any lights on, just lived by the light from outside and candle light. There’s something so perfect and simple about that.
I am a city girl. I love being in the middle of everything and hearing car noise and looking at tall buildings. However, I also like feeling like I’m outside of a snowglobe looking into the world. That’s how I feel when I retreat back into my home: I’m in my own little world that nothing can touch me. It’s pretty amazing.
I also rearranged two of my three pieces of furniture yesterday (a lot of work, I know). 😉 I don’t know if it’s the same idea behind Feng Shui, but there’s something about changing my bed into a new position that just makes it feel more comfortable and inviting. I moved it to the middle of my room and it’s just so very perfect now.
Something about the way the air feels just feels so very Pacific Northwest. I can’t describe it. It’s just amazing to stop and soak it in. It feels good.
I may still move to Pennsylvania at some point in my life because I strongly believe I’m a Philly girl, but I’m really loving it here.
I had a realization about myself last week. Remember how I said I finally chose? Well, it seems that after we make those choices life tries to tell us we have no idea what we’re doing or what we need in our lives. I was rewatching Gossip Girl and once again watched the last episode. I don’t know if you’ve seen GG, but in the last episode SPOILER ALERT Chuck and Blair end up together. They had been fighting their own wars, but said that at the end of all of it they would be together.
I have always thought A and my story was a lot like Chuck and Blair. We need to figure out our lives and then we can be together. Here’s the thing though, but Chuck and Blair had an end goal. Once they accomplish that goal then they’re ready to be together. Neither A nor I have that. We kind of just have a long-standing “once we figure things out we will be together.” But when is that? I think there’s a difference between being mature and giving each other time to become each other and just putting someone off. It’s not fair to me or my life.
I met someone this week who’s pretty darn phenomenal. He’s “not looking for anything” so I don’t think he’s “the one,” but he is one that has his life on track, is fun, makes me laugh and is going places in life. That’s who I want to be with. I want to be with someone who makes me a better version of me, not someone that I can sit down and soak in my misery with. I want someone who makes me smile when I’m sad and helps me form a game plan, not someone who enables that behavior. As I’m growing up I’m finding what I wanted before and what I know I need now are different. We’ll see how it goes. I’m going to ask A for a timeline and what he wants. We shall see.
Also, I lost two pounds this week (my first week really getting serious.) So that’s great.
How was your week?