They say I’m losing my uniqueness

I want to be free to have my own world outside of what a man can give me.


Yesterday I got REALLY frustrated about this picture I kept seeing circulated on Facebook. I can’t remember the whole thing, but the gist (and the part that stuck out to me) is that in this fight for equality, women are trying to lose their uniqueness and the women who aren’t standing up want to keep their uniqueness. Bleh.

Here’s the deal: I like being a woman. I like wearing a bra and I like wearing dresses and heels and I love red lipstick and I also enjoy being the “softer sex.” I can be loud sometimes but I don’t have to kill spiders when I’m around a boy and I’m not expected to be the first one to volunteer to build a house or change a tire.

However, I want the opportunity to do both. That makes me think back to a post written by Space Place and Southern Grace that I LOVED. Read the full article here. Here’s the part that really stood out to me.

Most days, I am fervent in displaying my pride to be a woman. I value and display many of the characteristics often attributed with womanhood and with femininity: kind, gentle, peaceful, graceful (lol, yeah right), and nurturing. There are days, however, when I find myself disgusted with feminine stereotypes and would rather be perceived as independent, powerful, authoritative, confident, ambitious, and worldly traditionally masculine characteristics.”

I am smart. I am well-educated. I love to travel (on my own) and some days I don’t like to wear makeup. I wrestled with my brothers when I was younger. I honestly don’t really want to have children (but I love kids). I am assertive and ambitious.

However, sometimes I’m called bossy. Sometimes I’m labeled a bitch. Sometimes I’m told that I’m going to have to quit my job when I get married because the man I marry is “obviously” going to expect me to have children and stay home to take care of them. Sometimes people tell me I went to Texas Tech to get my “MRS degree” and failed. Sometimes men in powerful positions call me “sweetheart” or “darling” and sit at the head of the table when we first sit down. Sometimes I’m told I can’t go to a certain place or travel alone because I’m a woman.

I hate that. I hate that so much. But wanting the opportunity to have a full-time job without the stigma that I’m frigid and hate children doesn’t mean I want to take away from the women who do stay home with their children. That’s phenomenal and I think THEY’RE phenomenal.

“The things we call women, a man would be called bold or formidable…” (instead of bitch. It’s a Scandal quote).

If my uniqueness means sometimes I’m looked down upon because of my sex, people assume that all I want in life is a husband and kids, people assume I can’t change a tire or make a bookshelf myself, I have to dress a certain way as to not distract the boys or “ask for” a sexual assault, then you know what? You can have it.

I do not want any part of that part of being a woman.

I want to be free to make my own choices and change the world if I want to. I want to make it to positions of authority and not have it be a huge deal or hear rumors that I slept my way to the top. I want to be powerful, independent, confident and ambitious, but I also want to be graceful, loving, kind and nurturing.

And if you have a problem with it, well then you can just leave.


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