You’ll never guess where I’m blogging from right now… I’m in my bathtub! I wanted to share my night with you all, but didn’t want to sit at my traditional blogging space so here I am.
Happy Valentine’s Day! As almost every blogger I follow has said before me, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about a romantic love. It can be love for your gal pals, love for your mama, love for your dog or, most importantly in my mind, love for yourself.
So today I practiced some self love and gave myself a romantic night in. Embarrassing? Nah. Glorious? Right on.
This weekend I picked up all the stuff I needed to prepare a nice meal for myself. I had already made and froze some spinach artichoke dip, so I pulled some of that out when I got home to munch on while I was cooking.
For dinner I decided I was going to make steak, potatoes and asparagus. Now I was low-key nervous about the steak because I’ve never made steak before! I only recently decided I liked it in general and I’d just never wanted to spend the money on fixing something I wasn’t 100 percent sure I’d like.
Funny story… I promise there’s a point. A couple of years back I was dating this boy. We were still in the process of getting to know each other when he asked me if I knew how to cook. I’m a pretty dang good cook if I do say so myself, but I did let him know it was probably going to be a little different than his mama (I don’t cook collard greens or fried chicken or any of that. Nothing against it, that’s just not what my mama taught me.) He told me that, that was fine as long as I knew how to cook steak.
I lied and said yes because I mean how hard could it be? I’m good at following a recipe.
How hard indeed?! Tonight I cooked steak for the first time and I did better than I ever thought I could. It was yummy and tender and juicy. 👌🏼 #BombAF
I used to never be one of those girls who made a big deal about Valentine’s Day either way. I’ve had one couples Valentine’s Day and it was fine but to me it’s just another day. I want to be with someone where we’re showing our love like some do on this day every day.
But with that said, today was especially important to me this year.
Last weekend I was on the phone with my best friend crying my heart out. I told her I didn’t know why I felt so empty and lonely and she proceeded to tell me all the things she thinks are great about me.
I stopped her and said that makes me uncomfortable because I know I’m great. “Not in an arrogant way but I know I’m great. I genuinely love myself even though there are parts of me that are broken and damaged.”
And here’s where she brought it home for me…
If I think there are parts of me that are broken and damaged that’s not self love. If I truly loved me I wouldn’t put those negative words on parts of me that may need a little more TLC. Those pieces of me have been holding me back from reaching that level for so long because I didn’t even realize how much I resented it.
So, today I love me. I love the good things about me: I’m smart and sparkly and I have pretty eyes and other stuff. But I also love the parts of me that need some work.
Having a heart that is hesitant to love isn’t damaged. Anxiety and depression don’t mean I’m broken. There isnt a man out there who broke my heart so bad it can’t be put back together again.
I just need to give those parts a little more TLC.
So, on this Valentine’s Day I’m going to slide down into my hot lavender bath and focus on loving me… all of me.
Happy Valentine’s Day dolls! What’d you do today?