To the Girl Whose Friends are Still in College

This post originally appeared on Extrordinary Young Women as my blog swap post for Becca. I know I have it here, now so you can read it, but I would still totally recommend you take the time to go check her out. Her blog is fantastic and definitely inspires ME to be an extrordinary young woman, too.

Side note, I am once again looking for someone to do a blog swap with for the months of April and May. So if you’re interested comment below or shoot me a message on my feedback page!

Hey doll,

giphy (1)Let me first say this: I get it. It’s hard. It’s hard to see pictures of formals or football games or even late-night cram sessions and know you’re not there. It’s hard to get excited about spending your birthday with a bunch of coworkers you just met. Even the silly things can be hard: no naps and work is a whole lot harder to skip than class ever was. Whatever you miss the most, I know graduating before the rest of your friends brings a MAJOR case of FOMO (fear of missing out).

I graduated early and was there, too. Honestly? I’m still there a whole lot of the time.

But you and I both know we graduated for a reason. Whether it was to save you or your parents money, because you were ready to get out into the real world, or any number of other reasons, you decided it was time to get the heck out of Dodge.

giphy (4)

I know, I know, that doesn’t make it any easier when you’re at home on a Friday night.

So, here are some ideas to ease the transition:

  • Don’t be afraid to schedule trips back. But don’t go back every weekend. Going back ALL the time will make it hard to connect to new people and move on. But it can be healthy to go back for homecoming or other events. Soak up that time while you’re there, but don’t let it set back your progress when you go home.
  • FaceTime! Skype! Text! Don’t be afraid to keep the group text you had with your best friends from campus or keep your Bachelor dates over FaceTime. Keeping your friends close is going to help you with this transition. Being able to text them the good and bad during your day keeps them up-to-date on your life (which they love) and helps you feel connected even though you may be thousands of miles away.giphy (3)
  • Join a new group. When you first went to college you probably didn’t have built-in friends. You met them in a sorority or at the school paper or next to you in class. The real world totally works the same way! That cool girl in your yoga class? Ask if she wants to get a smoothie after class next week. MeetUp can be a good resource, too if you live in a bigger city. The fact of the matter is most everyone wants friends, too. The worst someone can say is no and you won’t be set back any!
  • Finally, don’t be the girl that’s scared to move on. My LEAST favorite thing when spending time with new people is when they constantly talk about how much they miss their “friends.” It makes me want to say, “What am I? Chopped liver?” It’s totally okay to tell stories that include your friends from school and even say you miss them every once and awhile, but if you’re going to try to make new friends, really commit to being in the moment.

bonding-1985863_1920It’s not going to be easy, I can tell you that. But just like you made friends in college you can do that in this new stage of life. And just like you didn’t ditch your friends from high school, you’re simply adding new people to your circle. What could ever be wrong with that?

What’s the best way you’ve found to make friends in a new place?

XO,
K

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